Money in the God Business

There was a guy I attended both High School and College with at the same time. We belonged to the same fraternity. His family, like mine, was at church all week long. We went on the same Mission trips, sang in chorus together, on and on I could go but you get it, right? We knew each other really well and were friends. I knew him to be a trustworthy man, so the stories we shared with each other I could trust to be true.

He was a couple of class years ahead of me, so he graduated before I did and went on to The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary for his graduate studies. His entire adult life has been in service at various churches. To this day he is a minister and he’s someone I’d call trustworthy and a good person.

One weekend back in college he returned from SBTS and was telling us about how life at Southern was going. So, it was MUCH to our surprise when he shared this with us…

He was sitting in one of his first classes, and to start the lecture the professor asked, “By a show of hands, who here believes in God?” My friend, of course, raised his hand and had assumed everyone had raised theirs also. Since the professor picked up on something the class did not, he then asked, “By a show of hands, who does not believe in God?”

One lone seminarian raised a hand.

The professor followed up, what I can only imagine is an unusual response, by asking, “If you don’t believe in God, then why are you here?”

The seminarians reply…”Because there’s money in the God business.”

I’ve thought a lot about this over the years. I’ve often wondered which SBC church or churches he ended up leading. I’ve wondered how much money he made in the “God business.” And I’ve wondered just how many MORE were there at The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary for the EXACT same reason but failed to answer the professors’ question honestly.

As we look at case after case of abuse in Southern Baptist churches, I wonder how many began or ended up leading churches because of all the money in the “God business.”

I wonder how many began or ended up idolizing the power, The Church, the bible, the control over people, and all the other reasons that leaders would forsake the care of believers and forsake the calling.

There’s no way we get to the place we are now without a lot of leaders sacrificing people for power, ministry for money, and the safety of children for the protection of predators. And there’s no way we get to the place we are now without a lot of followers allowing the leaders to get away with it.

If you are a person of faith who’s active in their faith community, let me ask what this professor asked that young seminarian…

Why are you there?

Are you there for the position in your community? Are you there for the prestige a certain church might bring? Are you there because being there allows you some measure of control over the church and its direction? What is the motivation behind your attendance/membership at your church?

One final question. Who is looking after the safety of the children at your church? If “everyone” isn’t how you answered, then you have the wrong answer.

Why are you there?

Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also…

Copyright © 2024 Together We Heal, Inc.

What are SBC “Good Guys”?

I’ve struggled with the following for a long time…trying to work within the system of the Southern Baptist Convention toward sexual abuse reform.

At every turn, it has felt like 1 fractional step forward, then 10 giant leaps backward. The moments when I’ve felt like one of the “good guys” would rise to leadership, or at a minimum be elevated to a place where something positive might occur, so many things went wrong instead.

Which has led me to wonder…who really are the “good guys”, are there enough “good guys”, and what does that even mean?

Don’t misunderstand, misconstrue or misquote me. I DO know some decent, honorable men and women in SBC churches who have tried to do the right thing, the Christian thing. So what?

Recent actions, not too distant history, and decades of indifference and antagonistic behavior tells anyone paying attention that having some “good guys” doesn’t mean much.

If only this weren’t true, but it is. If only SBC leadership behaved as if sexual abuse in SBC churches was real and critically in need of reform, but they do not. If only the SBC Messengers wishes were followed, but they were not.

As I heard a long time ago, “If ifs and buts were candy and nuts, we’d all have a very Merry Christmas.”

I can name a handful of those SBC “good guys.” I consider some of them friends.

But for every 1 of them, I can list countless others who are sexual predators, enablers of perpetrators, or are flat-out fighting sexual abuse reform in the SBC with every fiber of their being.

For every 1 “good guy”, there are countless others meaning harm

And maybe worst of all, there are all the other “good guys” who don’t have the courage to stand up against the crimes and criminals in the SBC. Their silence is deafening. Their failure to force the issue is soul-crushing and innocence-ending.

We can debate the “why’s” of SBC failures till the cows come home. Power, money, polity, whatever. In the end, does the WHY matter? What does matter, is that they DON’T. The abject failures of the SBC to protect children and their perpetual defense of predators continues merrily along.

I, and so many others, have given all we have to offer guidance and solutions. We’ve given our blood, sweat, tears and souls. It’s not that they don’t have the answers, they do! But their response? To backstab victims of sexual abuse every chance they get. The latest being the amicus filed.

Despite all of this, many of us continue the work of educating churches and caring for our fellow survivors. 

As I’ve said before, I don’t do this because I believe the SBC, Catholic, or other religious institutions will change, because I don’t. 

So why do I still work with churches? Because sitting in those pews are survivors/victims in dire need to know they aren’t alone. And because I still believe in the rare few individuals who want to help and are willing to act. I do it for THEM, not the institutions.

My dear friend Christa Brown expressed it this way:

“For me, the answer is simple: I believe truth is a moral force in the universe. By speaking truth out loud, we refuse complicity with falsity, injustice and oppression.”

“By speaking truth out loud, we affirm the human dignity of those who have been abused within this faith group — abused not only by the sexual violence of pastors but also by the gaslighting, coverups, duplicity and disparagement of so many others in SBC leadership.”

Good guys? Those two words are almost ridiculous to utter in this conversation. I don’t want to know who the “good guys” are. I just want some decent humans who will protect children, hold predators and their enablers accountable, and ACT like Jesus called His followers to behave.

We are Proud to Love and Help

As we draw to the end of what is recognized by the LGBTQIA+ community as Pride month, we believe it’s more important than ever to say Together We Heal is a safe place for all.

Prior to the last few years, our organization didn’t think it necessary to state this, as we felt it was understood.

But with the ever-increasing hatred toward not just LGBTQIA+ but other marginalized groups, we, Together We Heal, are making our stance public.

Our organization welcomes all regardless of your past, how you identify, who you love, where you are from, the color of your skin or anything else. 

Our goal is to provide help to those who’ve been victimized – PERIOD.

There’s no judgement – just love for our fellow humans.  We are a safe community for ALL. Together We Heal isn’t just our name, it’s what we believe and how we express that belief through affirmation and alliance.

Together We Heal is a safe place for members of the LGBTQIA+ community who were sexually abused as children. You are heard, seen, believed, and loved.

The Truth About Trinity Baptist Church

On the May 2nd edition of Tom Ascol’s show “The Sword and The Trowel”, he chose to platform and promote the career of Pastor Mike Stone. Stone is running for President of the Southern Baptist Convention.

Mike Stone attempted to use the case of Trinity Baptist church in Ashburn Georgia as the prime example of why his approach, to the sexual abuse crisis in the Southern Baptist Convention, is the best.

Here is my response…

A New Project from our Director, David Pittman

At Together We Heal, we wanted to share with you something our Director, David Pittman, has been working on with a friend of his, pastor Mike Leake. It’s going to start with David and Mike having conversations about Abuse, Trauma and Justice. And our understanding is they will have others begin to participate.

We would encourage you to follow, subscribe and participate in the discussions. We believe the topics are important and timely.

You can follow on Twitter @trauma2trauma

The site link is here: https://trauma2trauma.org/

And their first post to introduce the concept is here:

https://trauma2trauma.org/f/what-is-trauma-2-trauma

As we have been saying all along…only together can we truly heal.

Trauma-Informed Ministry

If you are wondering what it means to be trauma-informed, especially in any form of ministry, this recorded session with Racheal Denhollander, Todd Benkert and myself can be a helpful introduction.

Being trauma-informed does NOT go against the bible or biblical teaching. Quite the opposite. Rachael explains a deeper understanding about the impact of trauma. And I speak to what trauma care in the church IS and IS NOT.

Please set aside some time to hear this message of support for those most vulnerable in our churches.

Trauma-Informed Ministry: A breakout session at the SBC Annual Meeting

Facing Up to a Legacy of Abuse

Reader content warning:

the following account contains descriptions of sexual abuse.

CBS Mornings and CBS Evening News reporter, Nikki Battiste, did an interview with Together We Heal’s Director, David Pittman.

It covered his personal experience of sexual abuse by a Southern Baptist minister, and how that abuse was covered up.

Part 1:

https://www.cbsnews.com/video/survivor-speaks-out-after-bombshell-southern-baptist-abuse-report/

Part 2:

https://www.cbsnews.com/video/southern-baptist-convention-launches-reforms-to-combat-sexual-abuse/

#SBCtoo

#MenToo

#1in6

GRACE Live Conversation: Peer Support

Watch the GRACE Live Conversation on Peer Support, the third principle of trauma-informed care.

With at least 20% of church congregations comprised of “trauma survivors,” why aren’t more faith communities helping to foster peer support groups for those who have experienced abuse/trauma?

Peer support and healthy relationships are essential for establishing safety and hope, building trust, strengthening collaborations, and utilizing the stories and testimonies of similar lived experiences to promote healing and recovery.

Join us for a great conversation about Peer Support for survivors of sexual abuse.

Where can you find resources?

What can your church do to get this right?

This was recorded live Monday, March 17^th, 2022.

Thank you, GRACE, for hosting our Director, David Pittman and Elizabeth Sullivan of EmpowerSurvivors.

GRACE Live Conversation: Building Emotional, Physical and Spiritual Safety

This was the first GRACE Live Conversation of 2022 and the first of a six-part series on Trauma-Informed Practices in Faith Communities.

This was recorded live Monday, Jan. 24th at 1 PM EST.

We had a great talk with Robert Peters (Senior Attorney at the Zero Abuse Project) and Pete Singer (Director of GRACE) about Safety and Faith Communities.

Please have a listen and let us know your thoughts!

Please watch, listen and let us know your thoughts!

GRACE Live Conversation: Building Emotional, Physical and Spiritual Safety

Join us for the first GRACE Live Conversation of 2022 and the first in their six-part series on Trauma-Informed Practices in Faith Communities.

Monday, Jan. 24th at 1 PM EST.

That’s TOMMOROW!

David Pittman (A GRACE Safeguarding Specialist and Director of Together We Heal) and Robert Peters (Senior Attorney at Zero Abuse Project) will be discussing Safety, the first key principle of trauma-informed care, from the perspective of abuse prevention and response within faith communities.

Register for this FREE live zoom webinar – https://buff.ly/3qH3IC4

More about David Pittman and Together We Heal – https://buff.ly/3Ig4qwm

https://together-we-heal.org/

More about Robert Peters – https://buff.ly/3KnstLC